🥸 all the awkward firsts...
Don’t compare your first step to somebody else’s thousandth step. You’re not them. They’re not you. It's the only way forward. One awkward step at a time.
I have come to accept that life is full of awkward firsts.
my first website
My very first website was a free WordPress website. I spent precisely four straight days on a very steep learning curve googling answers to questions I had never asked myself before and copying code into the site to make it work the way I wanted it to. A friend of mine took photos of me in a central Sydney alley on her Canon DSLR and created a little peach-painted 'swoosh' with my name written across it in Photoshop as my logo. I was so nervous when I published the site I thought I would vomit.
The fear of putting yourself out into the world for the first time is very real. Read about that, here.
my first article
My very first article, on that very first website, was awful. So awful, I am not going to share it with you. But if you feel like scrolling to the very end of the 778 articles on my blog, go right ahead. There's something about knowing that anyone might read your words, that stunts your ability to express yourself. I had written articles for years, and all of a sudden, I felt incredibly insecure about it all.
It took me precisely 6 months of writing 3-4 times per week to find my voice, articulate myself in a way that felt sincere and compelling, and start posting articles I felt proud of. My writing has come a long way since those first awkward attempts.
I recommend starting here if you are looking for some reading material to entertain you this weekend.
my first client
When she sent me an email asking if I would be willing to get on a Skype call with her I was equally parts terrified and delighted. The hour before I started sweating from nerves. What if I can't help her? Do I even know what I am doing? Maybe I should cancel! were the thoughts spinning through my mind.
Then I took a deep breath, opened Skype, and followed the structure I had familiarised myself with during my psychology degree training. Afterwards, I took my shaking body out into the sun and screamed out loud. That was so much fun! I did help her, I did know what I was doing, and I was so glad that I took that leap. That first call turned into a decade-long career as a mentor.
I am teaching everything I know about how to do this work in The Mentor Training.
2024 enrolments are now open and close in 2 weeks. Learn more here.
my first email
My business mentor told me when I first took my blog and turned it into a business, that building an email list and writing to it consistently would be one of the biggest gifts. I was scared. I didn't know what to write about or who would be interested in reading those emails. One day I was sitting in a cafe in Camden, London where I frequently worked. I overheard a conversation from a table next to me.
The editor of Psychologist magazine and one of the writers. The editor was telling her friend that she loved subscribing to emails from people whose work she genuinely admired and followed, as she would bookmark those emails, and on a Sunday afternoon tuck herself into a cosy corner and read them, like a magazine.
I needed to hear that conversation. The next day I started consistently writing emails. They weren't great, to begin with. With practice, I learned how to write engaging notes that had just the right balance of personal life shares and professional insights. Since then that email list has grown to a readership of more than 6,000. She was right. It's been the biggest gift.
my first course
My first course was just an e-book about how to build your business website, where I collated everything I learned from that very steep learning curve mentioned earlier when I built my first website. I created the e-book in Pages and then sold it off my website using PayPal for precisely $11. I laugh so much when I think about it now, but we all have to start somewhere. Since then my courses have evolved into multi-media self-study programs, live Zoom teachings, and most recently The Mentor Training.
Last year I ran two valuable masterclasses on Why Mentoring Is The Career Move Of The Year, and How To Get Paid To Be A Mentor. Watch the replay here:
How to get paid to be a mentor:
Mentoring as the career move of the year:
Across my lifetime, there have been countless of these awkward, stumbling, hesitant, uncertain firsts. The first time is always the most uncomfortable and terrifying. Yet, there isn't a single first that I regret. Each one has led to more pleasure, more abundance, more growth, more connection, more meaning, more depth, more moreness.
Remember that every person you love and admire — every writer, every artist, every business owner, every luminary who seems to “have it all together” — remember that their story is filled with hundreds of awkward firsts, too.
Don’t compare your first step to somebody else’s thousandth step. You’re not them. They’re not you. Your paths will never be identical. All that matters is that both of you keep taking that awkward first in the direction of your hopes and dreams.
It's the only way forward. One awkward step at a time.