my client obsessed with toilet paper
a story about a private client; on clients' presenting problems; using your insight (intuition); who our clients are; fear of not standing out or being unique enough to succeed; and more...
I once had a client who was obsessed with buying toilet paper.
Her biggest fear every single day was that she might run out of toilet paper.
So every day, on her way home, she would buy (another) pack of toilet paper.
She lived in London. A city filled with convenience stores, corner shops and grocers that stayed open all night. She did not need to hoard toilet paper.
It was not about the toilet paper. The toilet paper is what we, in The Mentor Training, call the presenting problem. There was something else going on.
I suggested that she set herself a challenge. To not buy any more toilet paper, until she was down to the last roll. This would take months, maybe even a year anyway, so the experiment was relatively risk-free. She agreed.
On our next call, I asked her.
“How does not buying toilet paper every day make you feel?”
“It makes me feel unsafe” she replied.
“Why?”
She shrugged.
I closed my eyes and tuned inwards. In the silence, an intuitive understanding moved through me.
“The are some words that are coming through me right now, and I want us to explore them together.”
She nodded.
“Control. Fear of scarcity. Anxiety. Tangible security.”
She nodded again.
I took a deep breath.
“Sometimes, when we feel out of control in certain areas of our lives we seek out areas we can control. Having an abundance of something you need, can feel like being in control. Additionally, if you tend towards a scarcity mindset and anxiety, which feels like there is never enough, and a persistent current of fear about the future, then always buying toilet paper can offer a tangible sense of security and relief from those feelings.”
With wet eyes, she nodded a third time.
“Although not long-lasting enough because the next day you have to do it again.” I softly teased with a smile.
She broke into tears.
“I. don’t. know. why. I’m. like. this” she sobbed between each word.
“I can tell you why. Something happened in your life, most likely in your childhood, that made you feel unsafe, out of control and fearful. And so you developed a coping mechanism. We will start exploring and dismantling those memories and beliefs in our future sessions. But first, let’s start right here with where you are at.”
“What we want to develop within you is a deep sense of trust. Trust that you are safe. Trust that you have enough. Trust that your needs will be met. Trust in yourself.”
She smiled.
It wasn’t about the toilet paper.
It was about feeling safe.
•
Most of my clients are what we call… “the worried well”.
People who don’t have any serious mental illnesses but need someone to unburden themselves to, get objective perspective and direction from, and want help rewiring old patterns and rewriting old narratives.
Nobody can know what is going on in someone else’s life, or mind, really — no matter how close you are — and when we share our life experience with a trusted person a lot of clarity, relief and confidence can come out of that…
Working with a mentor means having a safe space to open up and be yourself, and maybe even really see yourself, for the first time.
•
Let's talk about something that often goes unsaid in our field:
the fear that we're not unique enough to succeed.
The tools we use in our practice — whether it's Reiki, coaching, mentoring, yoga teaching, breathwork and so on… — can be replicated. Right now, thousands of practitioners are using these same techniques.
When we focus solely on these tools, we fall into a dangerous trap. We start comparing ourselves to other practitioners, feeling a subtle sense of threat or competition. This mindset not only stunts our growth but also prevents us from forming deep connections with our work and potential clients.
Here's what cannot be replicated: the unique way YOU relate to these tools. Your personal experiences, your intuition, your voice — these are what make your practice truly one-of-a-kind.
It's not about the tools themselves, but how you give them shape and voice in your work.
When we start to understand and nurture this relationship with our work, magic happens. We build substance and knowledge through practice. We create a standout service that goes beyond the surface level. We learn to translate not just the tools, but the very heartbeat of our practice.
This is where The Mentor Training comes in:
Our program is designed to help you tap into this unique power. We don't just teach you tools; we guide you in discovering your authentic voice as a practitioner. Through The Mentor Training, you'll learn to:
Identify and cultivate your unique strengths
Develop a deep, personal relationship with your practice
Translate your tools in a way that resonates with your authentic self
Build confidence in your unique offering
Stand out in a crowded field by being unapologetically you
Many of us struggle with feeling like imposters, wondering if we're "good enough" compared to other practitioners. The Mentor Training addresses this head-on, helping you recognise and celebrate your unique value.
Instead of seeing other practitioners as competition, we'll show you how to view the field as a collaborative space where your unique voice is not only welcome but necessary.
Remember, success isn't about being better than others — it's about being the best version of yourself. The Mentor Training will guide you on this journey of self-discovery and professional growth.
Are you ready to move beyond the surface level of your practice? To discover the unique magic only you can bring to your work? The Mentor Training is here to guide you every step of the way.
Join us, and let's transform not just your practice, but the entire field of holistic mentoring and healing.
Your unique voice is needed.
Your perspective matters.
And with The Mentor Training, you'll have the tools and confidence to share it with the world.